What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
