i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
