I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
