If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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