Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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