And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
