So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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