Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
