are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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