So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
