There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
