what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Randomize
