Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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