kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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