Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
