So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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