the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
