Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
