Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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