Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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