I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The feeling are messing with the penis
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
