bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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