Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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