No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
