Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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