4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
