I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I need water and some morals
Randomize
