She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
