8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
