when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's rum buckets o'clock
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
