You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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