We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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