I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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