I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
