When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
