I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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