I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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