the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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