sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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