I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
His hands were made for my vagina.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
