Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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