Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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