im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
