We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
