I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
