he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
