I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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