Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
