i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
