Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
