I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize