Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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