I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
this will be a night to untag.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
