dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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