You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
