Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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