Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he thought i was a dude.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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