I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
