What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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