True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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