physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
