wrigley field is MILF paradise
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
