school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
