dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
