Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
