if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
